uncoveredsecret (uncoveredsecret) wrote in eyes_shut_open,

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you only get one taste and for this gift we are graced....

Why the fuck can't I get skinny? Can someone explain this madness to me? I mean I have COE disorter, but I'm been working so hard to stop. I don't want to be a fucking COE... Honestly, I shouldn't be complaining because even those I supposibly have this "disorter" I'm not to over weight. I only weight 180 and I'm 5'8". I've been told I could never weight that much and if I do I carry it well, but I don't feel that way. Not at all, and it sucks...

Sadly enough I've been thinking about how skinny I want to be, and trying super hard to at least eat under 1,000 cals a day. I'm doing alright I guess, but then some days my COE kicks in and I end up having like 2,000 cals and then feeling horrible about myself.

And I thought cutting was the worst of my problems. Now, not only do I have to try not to cut, but I have to try not to eat either... WTF
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